In His Own Words – Victim or Perpetrator?

I am republishing what Mr. Constant has written as he has made it very clear that virtually everything is public domain and he treats it as such.

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From: odnet-bounces at lists.odnetwork.org 
On Behalf Of Doug J Constant

Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:00 AM
To: odnet at lists.odnetwork.org
Subject: RE: [Odnet] Cynicism 2
 
I now stand for the 100s of online discussion members who would like to
see an end to discussion bulling and now a deeper look at a the classic
characteristics of an online bully.

3.  Dr. XXXX responded kindly by making a request:
XXXX- Next time, post it privately.  As much as you
may be right, when you openly criticize others even 
when they are obviously wrong, you inadvertently 
dis-humble yourself and allow the perception of your
tone to override the importance of point/message.

I find this a reasonable request, but look at Mr. XXX response
(which I thought would be, “you know you are right Peter, I
apologize…I guess I was in a rush.”):

If you don’t want to read them, feel free to ignore all my
posts, but I won’t accept you dictating my conduct, unless 
you have some vested authority to do so.

Think about an issue such as this in the corporate environment…which
is most appropriate (assuming you are right) a public rebuke in front of
other colleagues…or a private session to determine the details. If Mr.
XXX would have done the former he would have found out that the
article was awaiting standard discussion approval. This falls under the
bully category according to JCU: “need to control.” Mr. XXX has taken
on the controlling role of copyright policeman. This is a deep-seated
need for control.

4. I run a fairly successful training, OD, coaching and facilitation
discussion group (3,500 members 800 messages/month and growing). I
started the group because of Mr. XXX and others in another group that
allow attacks, hate mail, know-it-all statements and the like. Mr. XXX
started a group as well which lasted about 45 days. He has become
vindictive, angry and has sent nasty messages to me. He even signed me
up for pornographic spam. He also set up a yahoo group to discredit me
and the group: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/Training_Ideas
and has PAID for a website full of false accusations, lies and altered
email messages: http://www.onpointcoach.com/  The very messages were
altered…in fact within 10 minutes I took the information used as
conclusive proof and changed the headings which is what he has done in
his anger and rage.

This falls under several bully categories according to JCU: “vindictive”
prone to anger and irritability,blame everyone but themselves
tyrannical, manipulative, and excel at twisting the truth .” 
 
5. I will add that IF Mr. XXX responds to this message he will display
the remaining characteristics of a bully outlined by JCU:
- are never wrong 
- are charming to superiors and outsiders 
- have a selective memory 
 
He is never wrong in a charming way and will only discuss selective
parts of this and other messages. This leaves me with the last of the
characteristics of a bully outlined by JCU which I am sure is the real
underlining problem:
- are insecure 
- are experiencing stress 
 
Please read my last post which outlines the false accusations Mr. XXX
made. I have documented proof that Mr. XXX is in complete error and
will never admit it even though the facts stare him in the face. This
man is dangerous. I have banned him from my group and others write me
offline thanking me for standing up against this common playground,
kick-sand-in-your-face bully. 

Doug Constant